


Starman

by viceroyvonmutini



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, will i ever write anything other than fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 05:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7878673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viceroyvonmutini/pseuds/viceroyvonmutini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erin Gilbert just wanted to know more. Wanted Holtz to expose herself just a little. But she wanted it to be more of a one way conversation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starman

**Author's Note:**

> anon prompt: holtzbert after their first night together, erin wakes up and is suddenly really shy about her body and her insecurities creep in but holtzmann is there to soothe her
> 
> Maybe one day I'll actually give you guys what you want in terms of prompts. I swear I try, but I just try and then I end up thinking of things. I wrote this on a plane at the equivalent of about 3am in the morning originally. I was just roughing out how I thought some of the science worked, and then I realised they had to have a way to store the plutonium, and then I thought about this prompt. 
> 
> I am, as always, not a scientist. I apologise.

There was a lot about Holtz that eluded Erin, but what intrigued her the most – by far – was her lab of wonders.

Three-parts intrigued, five-parts terrified. But definitely intrigued.

Despite the chaos – the chaos that still scratched her with an itch to just order _something_ about the place – Erin liked it. It was a theme park for any particle physicist, she couldn’t deny that, and there was still so much she didn’t know. Holtz was nothing if not unfathomable, and her lab, deduced Erin, was the best way to fathom her, because she did. Want to fathom her. Want to know things. Want to figure it out. Not like a puzzle, but like the universe: constant, and 96% mystery, and always throwing up more. That was Holtz.

But after months of working together, Erin was still no closer to finding out all that went on in Holtz’s lab. It was a mess – ground zero for the destruction of New York City (less of a joke than she was strictly comfortable with), but it was Holtz’s, and she spun through the place like a maelstrom, sparking off everything in sight.

Erin still wasn’t sure what went on in there, despite spending a considerable amount of time in said lab working closely with Holtz to develop the theory to her practical science. Holtz had cleared a desk for her, kept relatively clean for Erin’s personal use, and Erin tried not to dwell so much on that gesture because Holtz actively worked to keep that space Erin’s, which meant she actually considered Erin’s needs and that was thoughtful, and endearing, in a way. But just, Erin reminded herself, the thoughtful gesture of a friend and science partner, that she gratefully received, as a friend and science partner.

So Erin really was fascinated by Holtz. And her lab. The others didn’t seem too bothered by the question, happy to watch gadgets roll out of the second floor primed and ready for busting ghosts. Sure, Abby helped out a lot up there, but she didn’t really show any interest in finding out _more_ : in finding out how it all _worked._ How Holtz thought. That, knew Erin, was the real privilege.

And so, when Holtz bounded up to her desk Erin agreed without much hesitation to help her carry some “materials” up from the car, despite being 30 lines deep in some theoretical working she was feeling out for Holtz.

‘What needs moving?’ she asked. Holtz led the way through the building and down to the Ecto-2 parked outside.

Holtz was skipping – or almost skipping. Bouncing on the balls of her feet like a kid at Christmas. Erin watched her, captivated. There was something infectious about Holtz. Magnetic. Superconducting. Erin was one of many, and she knew it, to be similarly captivated. She would use “ensnared” to describe the feeling, but that word was brutal and cruel; and Holtz was neither of those things.

Holtz popped the trunk, halting Erin’s daydream as she lifted the lid to reveal two black containers, each about the size of a DVD case, but four times as thick. The trunk was otherwise empty. The containers looked military grade – even Erin could see that – and suddenly Erin began to feel the tickle of apprehension.

‘Holtz. What is that?’

Holtz grinned. ‘Plutonium-239,’ she replied, as if it were obvious: as if this were a normal shopping list item.

‘What?!’

‘How else did you think the magic happened? The birds and the bees…’

Erin coughed, stopping that train of thought before it gained traction. ‘Yes, thank you, Holtz. I did physics too.’ But there was a distinct difference between vaguely accepting the notion that they surrounded themselves – and worked closely with – unstable nuclear materials strapped to their backs, and actually coming face to face with it.

‘There’s enough 239 in these babies to last us a good while,’ said Holtz, looking down on the relatively inconspicuous boxes with a certain reverence. She snapped herself out of it. ‘Come on Gilbert,’ she chimed, picking up a box of the highly unstable nuclear reactant with a carelessness that definitely worried Erin.

‘Is that… you know what, don’t answer that.’ Erin decided to stop asking questions to things she didn’t _really_ want to know the answers too. Instead, she reached for the other box, grunting slightly as she picked it up, caught off-guard by the weight of it.

Holtz slammed the trunk shut, before leading the way back inside.

‘I’m not even going to ask where you got this from,’ muttered Erin under her breath. ‘I’m not.’

Holtz overheard, shooting a grin over her shoulder at Erin trailing behind her. ‘Don’t worry about it. It’s all safe - as safe as it can be. I mean, I would have used isotope-240 but-‘

‘Absolutely not. Holtz!’

‘-I’m crazy, so.’ Holtz smiled. ‘And I thought you might say that. This is much safer. It’s all lead-lined.’

That would explain the weight of these things, thought Erin. Lead-lined. Thick. Radiation protected. Well, at least they met the bare-minimum of radiation safety guidelines as they blithely hauled the Plutonium isotope into their home.

Erin trusted Holtz - despite everything that screamed she should not, under any circumstances, be allowing this woman to tinker with this stuff. Erin trusted her enough to follow behind in silence as Holtz led the way through the maze of her lab. She was definitely getting her wish, although her attention was mostly consumed with holding the container steady and level in her hands, despite the slight burn in the muscle of her arms.

‘Stop!’ called Holtz, and Erin started, her concentration broken as she came to an abrupt and unexpected halt behind Holtz.

Erin arched her neck in an attempt to see over Holtz’s hair, wondering where and why they had stopped, as Holtz cleared a space on the worktop in front of her and set down her box. Erin came up beside her and did the same, watching as Holtz began to unlock what looked like an old-style safe jacked up on steroids, with a tumbler and everything that Holtz was now twisting and clicking into place. Metal pipes ran from the top and back of the safe – obviously welded into place by Holtz herself – reached up to the ceiling, where they met and clamped onto what Erin deduced were the buildings gas pipes. Erin followed Holtz’s homemade pipes run alongside the building’s established metalwork, until they linked up with a large, precariously hanging tank that hung just above where Erin now stood. From the tank itself ran numerous other homemade pipelines that ran into other, as yet unexplored corners of the lab.

‘What…?’

‘Containment unit,’ said Holtz, shrugging as if building something like this were not a feat of engineering, and something Erin herself could never do.

‘Containment?’

Holtz pulled open the thick, heavy door of the safe, and Erin looked inside.

‘Steel, with a lead-lining over 30-inches think – just to be sure – with a Homemade Holtz State-Of-The-Art Water Coolant System running just above our heads, _and_ a liquid Helium back-up system that I am _dying_ to use – automatically activates if the temperature rises above a certain point. Though that should never happen. The water pipes run all through the lead-lining in tiny little pipes; the water is kept at a balmy 2 degrees C.’

Holtz’s hands fell deep in the pockets of her dark green lab coat as she described her creation with more than a little bit of pride to Erin, hoping she’d be impressed. Erin blinked, speechless. She always was when it came to Holtz, and what she could accomplish. She felt a little guilty in ever, for one second, doubting that Holtz wouldn’t have complete control over…everything. For assuming that the woman wouldn’t build a fully functioning homemade nuclear containment unit from scraps, and glue them all together just to keep them safe. Of course she would keep them safe. She was a scientist after all. And a friend.

‘Cool, right?’ grinned Holtz, slotting her new materials into the back of the safe, before slamming the door shut with a forceful flourish.

It was then, after the heavy thud of that steel, lead-lined beast of a door, that Erin heard the creaking of the pipes climbing through the system, and watched the shudder of metal as her eyes trailed the noise up to the tank above her head. She flicked her gaze back down to Holtz, watching as her expression turned wide-eyed, and knew something was up.

‘Oops,’ whispered Holtz, seconds before the water tank groaned and whimpered and snapped from one of its joints, tipping it’s -20 contents over Erin’s head.

She couldn’t help the slight screech that escaped her as ice cold water tumbled over her shoulders, and she stood, stock still and frozen and definitely shivering as the water snaked its way down her back and soaked through her clothes.

The tank itself hung precariously by one joint to the network of pipes, and Holtz swiftly took Erin – who had squeezed her eyes shut the moment the artic water hit her, and had yet to reopen them – by the shoulders and pushed her backwards, guiding her clear of the disaster zone.

Erin allowed Holtz to steer her, focusing on the warmth of the hands on her shoulders. Oh god was she cold. She hoped Holtz was taking her someplace warm, and fuzzy, and desert-like.

She felt the brush of what she thought was a velvet curtain against her back, before Holtz brought her to a stop.

‘Stay. Don’t. Move.’

Erin could only nod, still shivering and eyes still closed. She could hear Holtz rummaging around the space.

‘Erin?’

Erin braced herself to speak, taking a deep breath. ‘Yes?’

‘You need to strip.’

Erin swallowed. Holtz said it like she was sorry to even have to say it, but she knew why she said it. It was logical – of course it was. It was logical to remove the wet, cold clothing. It was logical.

‘I know.’

Erin couldn’t hear the rustling anymore. She could feel Holtz, though. Her pressure: stood not so far away from her as was appropriate for friends.

‘Do you…need any help?’ asked Holtz. ‘With the wet clothes, I mean. And the fact that you haven’t opened your eyes yet, so you can’t see, so you might need it. Some help.’

Erin didn’t reply for a beat.

‘No I…I got it. I just…’

Holtz watched as Erin tried to open her eyes, and reached forward to help, wiping away the water with the edge of her sleeve as Erin blinked rapidly.

‘I don’t have a towel up here.’

Erin nodded. Shifted on her feet as Holtz withdrew her arm.

‘Could you...?’

‘Oh! Yeah. Holtz spun on her heel to face the curtain. ‘Just tap me when you want the fluffy clothes I have procured for you.’

Holtz’s attempt at cheer did nothing to make this any less mortifying for Erin. Taking a deep breath, she began to pull off her clothing as quickly as she could, prizing it from her body as delicately as she dared. She tried to minimize the time she was exposed, tossing her clothes in a pile on the floor one damp piece at a time.

‘Uh, Holtz?’ Was her voice right? It might be a little high. An octave higher than usual. Erin blushed, eyes fixed to the floor, still shivering, and now practically naked save for her plain black underwear. She wrapped her arms tight around her body.

‘The clothes? Gotcha.’ Holtz offered out the clothes behind her back, keeping her eyes forward – something Erin was eternally grateful for. She took the clothing with noticeable hesitance, examining Holtz’s fashion suggestions and desperately trying to ignore the heat of her face, and the fact that she would be wearing Holtz’s clothing. As she pulled the sweater over her head, all she could smell was Holtz: indescribable and human. Human and all Holtz.

Holtz shifted. ‘The longer you take the more antagonizing the need to look,’ she sung lightly, and Erin was glad Holtz couldn’t see her deepening blush, nor the awkward flutter of nerves through her body.

‘Not missing much,’ mumbled Erin, not entirely expecting Holtz to hear. But she did, and Holtz frowned to herself.

‘I wouldn’t know,’ she chirped, ‘I’m missing it.’

Erin tried to ignore her words but couldn’t quite stop herself from reacting, eyes still down as she shimmied into the warm fleeced sweatpants decorated with Spongebob characters up and down her legs. She concentrated on that. Concentrated on the way they rested just higher than her ankles, ever so slightly too short, and the way the sleeves of the sweater feel higher than the bones of her wrist.

‘Okay. Done.’

Holtz spun back around, taking in Erin and her warm grey sweater, Spongebob bottoms, and pink fluffy socks. Her hair was damp, sticking down against her head, and there was still a definite chill in her body as Erin sunk deeper into the sweater.

‘Thanks Holtz.’

Holtz nodded, pulling off her boots and shrugging off her lab coat. She gestured with her head to the mattress on the floor behind Erin.

‘Get in?’

‘W…what?’

‘Trust me,’ replied Holtz, tugging off her loose hanging tie around her neck, and removing her goggles, adding them to the pile on the floor. ‘That water was c-o-o-l-d. You need to warm back up asap – your _body_ temperature needs to come back up, and the best way to do that-‘ Erin knew what was coming, and could feel her palms begin to sweat. ‘-is sharing body heat.’

It was so logical. The way Holtz spoke made it all sound so…easy. Erin logically decided she hated logic right at this moment, as she failed to articulate any kind of response to Holtzmann’s assessment.

‘Come on,’ said Holtz, gently nudging Erin in the direction of the mattress. Erin complied – noting that she didn’t really have it in her to do anything _but_ comply – sitting down on the makeshift bed, focusing only on her breathing. Regular and calm.

‘Lie down, Erin.’

Erin did so, clambering under the warm, comforting covers without a word. When she was safely tucked in, Holtz stepped over her, the mattress sinking with her feet, and slid in behind her.

Erin was the exact opposite of relaxed. She couldn’t tell if the tension in her muscles was due to the cold still coursing through her system, or the close proximity of Jillian Holtzmann, but she was fairly certain it was all because of Holtzmann. She could feel the muscles knotting in her shoulders, just like she could feel Holtz’s body heat radiating behind her.

‘Hey…Erin?’ asked Holtz, soft and tentative.

‘Yeah?’ Their voices were low, whispering for no reason except that this was theirs and it sort of seemed right.

‘I…I thought this would warm you up I mean, you can leave whenever and I can go too and you’re really very tense right now and I think that’s probably not good. Or helping. I just wanted to help, really, and-‘

‘No.’ Erin shifted under the covers, curling in on herself slightly. ‘No. No, I…it’s not…’ She coughed, and willed herself to relax, to soak in…soak in Holtzmann. ‘I’m just cold.’

Holtz didn’t reply. Then, so softly Erin could barely hear:

‘I know you don’t like being…but I-‘

‘Yes,’ interrupted Erin. Her eyes fixed straight ahead, but every sense was geared towards Holtz and Holtz surrounding her, and it was utterly intoxicating, and probably more dangerous than Plutonium. Definitely.

Erin heard the rustling of covers behind her, and felt the tentative slide of an arm around her waist, and the gentle tug of Holtzmann as she coaxed her into an embrace, and Erin went willingly, until she was slotted against Holtz so close that she could feel her breathe against her neck, and the light brush of blonde wisps against her cheek.

Erin was definitely warm now. She felt warm. She felt…nice, and calm, and slightly terrified. But warm.

‘I’m sorry,’ said Holtz.

‘For what?’ They were still speaking in hushed tones, caught in their own world: in their bubble of this space that neither wanted to leave. Erin felt Holtz’s attempt at a shrug.

‘The water.’

‘It’s okay.’

‘That’s good.’

They let the silence settle, and Erin let her ears wander, seeking out the distinct, harmonious sounds of Holtz and her lab. Their quiet breathes mixed with the faint hum of machinery and the harsh glare of the fluorescent lighting above them, making this all their own and only now. It was Holtz and her lab. And despite the cold linoleum floor, and the glaring light, and the noise of midday traffic outside, it was quiet here, wrapped up in Holtz. And it was warm.

‘Hey Erin?’

Erin hummed in response, feeling a tension gripping at Holtz. She tried to do what Holtz had done for her moments ago, reaching for the hand resting on her waist and settling her own on top of it.

There was a silence as Holtz weighed her words, deciding on one thing before deciding that wasn’t what she wanted to say at all.

‘I think…the movement of electrons excited by heat energy is one of the most beautiful things we can see, and it’s amazing because if you ever see Potassium burn – I mean you obviously have, but I just mean that I can’t see it all the time, or at all, because there’s definitely a fire hazard there, but I _want_ to see it all the time, and today I missed it.’

Holtz paused, feeling the words in her mouth before she tried again, forcing herself to plough on.

‘I mean, we only know 4% of the known universe, and so you must be like, at least 0.000024% of the 96% of the unknown universe, but the most interesting part.’

‘You know me, Holtz.’

Holtz shook her head against the pillow. ‘No I don’t. Not really. Not enough. Not enough to assure you that you…that you’re Potassium.’

‘ _I’m_ Potassium?’

‘Yep. Yes. I just wanted you to know that, because you’re like a big ball of purple fire, with little sparky bits – and those are my favourite bits – and you are _not_ worth missing. You’re more wonderful – full of wonder definitely – like bright purple flames, which did I mention were my favourite flames, and thing to, um, watch – more full of wonder than you think.’

Holtz seemed pleased with herself for finally managing to articulate what she was trying to say to Erin: what Erin knew to be a nervous, heartfelt observation, or rather confession, that made her tingle all over in that way Holtz made her feel. And she was at a loss, because Holtz, she realized, absolutely terrified her. But that was okay, because maybe, she thought, maybe after all her curiosity she had failed to notice that Holtz was terrified too. And that…that was definitely worth pushing into the unknown universe for.

‘Thanks,’ she breathed out, speechless at the care. The compliment wrapped up in all that beautiful science. The fact that Holtz had taken the time to try. The earnestness with which she spoke.

The arm around her waist tightened and Erin shifted closer; deeper into Holtz’s embrace with a soft smile on her lips and maybe, maybe Holtz was smiling too.


End file.
